Brain Flossing

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June 05, 2002

When nothing is something

I want to write my thoughts on balance soon, and what I'm thinking about now relates to that... but for now I wanted to talk about always having something to do. From as far back as I can remember, I've always been forward looking and goal oriented. When I say forward looking, I mean I lived in the tomorrow and not the now. It took my many years to realize how unhealthy and unbalanced this was. i
Once I realized the importance of enjoying the now, I stopped taking the now for granted as much, or at least when I THOUGHT I had stopped taking it for granted.
Sometimes, important events which will be remembered for your whole life, are really non-events which in and of themselves would be quickly forgotten. Going to an REI party a couple months ago was just one of those events. What I saw at that party amazed me. It was a group of men and women, sitting in someones living room, listening to music, and talking. Thats all they were doing. Now this alone might not sounds remarkable to you. But it was for me. It was a shock to see such a group doing nothing and enjoying it. I couldn't remember ever having nothing to do. I ALWAYS have SOMETHING to do.
That doesn't mean I'm always doing something important, but because I always feel compelled to be doing something important, I tend not to enjoy it as much when I'm not doing one of the many things on my todo list. Its hard to enjoy yourself when you feel guilty for not doing other things which are more important.
The problem with this attitude is that it makes you miss out and whats going on now. It prevents you from living in the NOW. Once I realized this, did I change? No. Why? I'm not sure. Mostly because I still had a lot of stuff to do. Obviously, some of this is just mental... me just not being able to have a proper balance between work and non-work... but another part of this is that life is just complicated. I'm sure many people out there understand what I mean. Life is so complicated sometimes, its hard to keep a hold of it at all. Its the pressure to keep up something that causes the stress which prevents you from enjoying the now. I'm still not sure yet what to do about this... but what I'm hoping is to simplify life. That seams the obvious way to help this problem. Its easier said than done though.
Our current life wasn't formed in a day... it took a long time for us to become the person we are this moment that does this and that and has these specific responsabilities and priorities. Just as it took a long time to get to this point, so does it take a while to get to the next point. But I have hope. I'm going to just try and take it one thing at a time, one day at a time. Eliminating excess baggage and simplifying life. Because a lot of what worries people on a day to day basis involves the upkeep of things which may never really have mattered. The upshot of simplifying life, is the ability to focus on the things that really DO matter. Life my wife; and my friends.

Posted by wonko at June 5, 2002 02:24 AM

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