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April 12, 2003

Divorce

I recently ran into a friend of mine in LA whose been dating the same girl for many years. The problem is, they really aren't good together, at least thats what I and all his friends think. Specifically, she blames him for most things, and he takes the blame whether it's his fault or not. I've only ever been around her when she's with him, but I'm willing to assume she is much worse to be around when she's with him than when she's with her own friends. This trait of hers is very personally destructive, while painfully destructive to her boyfriend as well. He enables her to continue this destructive behavior, to his detriment. As the relationship goes on, they both become worse for the wear. These observations made me once again think about my position on divorce.

Growing up in a strict Christian household, I was always taught that divorce was wrong in all but the most dire circumstances, ie. abuse or infidelity. Later in life, as I began re-evaluating all my beliefs I came to disagree with this learned belief by reason. Whether you believe that life is short, or that life is long (as I believe), I hope you agree that we should make the most of the time we have. I believe that part of this is our duty to help our fellow man. To be good community stewards. To give even more than you may get. People who are in destructive relationships tend to personally degrade to where they are in no position and have no desire to help their fellow man being internally tortured by their own life. If you know people in very destructive relationships, you know what I mean. At this point, I believe, it is better in a utilitarian way, to leave your partner and move on with your life, contributing to society, than to struggle in stagnant torture to do the 'right thing'.

Posted by wonko at April 12, 2003 01:14 AM

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