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July 29, 2003
Venice on my mind.
It was a great weekend. Derek and I ended up taking a road trip down to LA, visiting friends and old familiar places. We spent a good deal of time in Venice and Santa Monica on the Promenade. Some things change, while others do not. Really, things just change at different rates, but everything changes.The things that haven't changed in so long intrigue me. Venice is such a wild place where so many things, including people, do not change. They must change eventually, or maybe it all is constantly changing, just at a much slower rate. On a given Saturday you can see many of the SAME people and SAME shops that people have been seeing for over 20 years. No where is this more apparent than the drum circle. It was particularly large this Saturday as it had been a beautifully warm day. The same people have been participating in the drum circle for decades. Its just something they do. New people come and go, but its always there, and there's always a contingent of old-timers. There is such a diversity of people who participate as well. Some look like Nam vets, while others look like old school hippies. Others still have an eastern flare, while the younger ones range from people look like punks, metal heads, latino gangsters, hippies, and businessmen. But they're all participating in their own way. The dancers also interest me. Doing something in front of people seems like a public act by definition. But in the drum circle it can be private, in spite of people watching. People just do their own thing regardless of what others think. And it is this confidence that stops lurkers from criticizing them. For, even if what a dancer is doing looks particularly silly, the lurker knows he/she would never have the courage to go up there in the first place. People are fascinating.
I feel very at home in Santa Monica and Venice. Even with all the freaks, I feel somehow safe and comfortable there. Going back to a place with so many memories always does strange things to people. In many ways it presents a mirror of ourselves where we can compare who we were at the time to who we are now. I used to get nostalgic in a semi depressing sort of way when visiting significant places like that. Remembering how good things used to be and wondering why it wasn't that good anymore. I don't do that anymore. Now I can enjoy the pleasure of the memories without the doubt. I've always got NEW good memories and I will have many new happy ones in the future. I also realize that I am a lot more confident than I used to be. Just in general. I feel older and wiser, but not old. In some ways this wisdom has lead me to feel comfortable taking MORE risks, not less as I had imagined. I'm sure this has something to do with my added confidence.
It was really good to see some old friends. I got to see Matt, Richard, Al, big Greg, Cat and my brother David. In many ways going back to LA and seeing those friends, it was as if I'd never left. I love where I live now and the opportunities it affords me, but I do miss those people and places.
I'm 27 now and curious how long I can take this experiment. Thus far my life has been everything BUT traditional, from my schooling, to my professional life to my marriage which continues to defy cultural mores. Sometimes I am riddled with doubt as to whether this experiment will work at all. I know I'm not the first to try it, though I am trying to take a balanced approach to it. I see a lot of 40 and 50 year old ex-hippie burnouts who tried to live with idealism as their #1 ideal (so to speak) and I know I don't want to end up like that. But at the same time I see other 40-50 yr old idealists who are still busy and happy. Maybe I'll try and figure out the differences between them. Of course, I've never really formalized what the experiment is, so maybe I should do that first. It has something to do with idealism, meaning, taking as many opportunities as one can, and EXPECTING things will work out if you don't worry about them and just let them run their course. This last weekend is a perfect example. It was so last minute, but it couldn't have gone better if it was planned.
Nuf' rambling.
Posted by wonko at July 29, 2003 12:10 PM
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Comments
It seems that we are aways concerned how life is going to treat us. It seems that happy people can be found in both what we might call traditional live styles and untraditional ones. What I have found is the happy people always and I repeat always look after their own needs, but not before the needs of those that mean the most to them. They do this without expecting a return but the always get it. It seems so simple. If I could only master it.
Posted by: ice slider at July 29, 2003 02:30 PM
The above correlates to what I think, given that most people who are leading 'traditional' lifestyles are doing so because they believe they should, regardless of what they SHOULD do. So often, they never take the time to question whether the expectations for them will make them happy, or whether they are doing it just to make others happy. Acceptance != happiness. Not always anyway.
Posted by: Wonko at July 29, 2003 03:22 PM
Once a Venician, always a Venician.
Posted by: at July 30, 2003 09:36 AM
I don't think you can define what people should do in terms of their lifestyle. Living a "traditional" lifestyle is just as valid as living a "nontraditional" one. I think Ice summed it up pretty well. And Acceptance can equal Happiness, if you can Accept who you are. BTW, what should people be doing?
Posted by: useEvil at August 7, 2003 11:13 AM
I think you're right on your comment as far as the validity of the type of lifestyle you live. I guess what I'm trying to say is that many (maybe most) people don't choose their lifestyle, but instead adopt a lifestyle that most closely approximates the lifestyles of those around them. They gain their lifestyle exactly by not choosing. That is not to say some of those people who fell into their lifestyle aren't happy. But I observe that most of those people aren't. On the flip side, to give validity to what you are saying, there are those that specifically DID choose a lifestyle that we might view as traditional and who ARE happy. Either way, I think its important to choose for yourself how you want to live as opposed to just assuming the way everyone around you is doing it is the way you should do it. Does that make more sense?
Posted by: Wonko at August 7, 2003 11:52 AM
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