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August 31, 2003

Why climbers are bad for the environment and bad for our country.

"Time Magazine and all of its subsidiaries are committed to protecting our environment by exposing those that would ruin it for us as and future generations. It is to this end that we are exposing those dirty, hippie climbers who may try and pass themselves off as nature lovers, but as you will see, are anything but. The issue at hand is none other than protecting our nations few and dwindling national parks. Parks like Yosemite are seeing firsthand the destructive impact climbers have with their trampling and trash. I, personally, was so astounded I had to drive to Yosemite in my Ford Excursion, which only gets 15mpg and spews copious amounts of toxic chemicals into the air, thanks to relaxed environmental restrictions on SUVs, to see the carnage for myself. To educate you, the unsuspecting American, we at Time Magazine have written this article on which we will publish on real paper, where it can not be denied. This issue is so important to all of us that Time magazine has used an entire forest of paper, just so you can read this article and see for yourself how important this is. It is our hope that you too will come to fear and hate these climbers, who do not have jobs or bathe and do nothing to contribute to our great economy. Let us all work together for a climber-free America."
-Lisa Beyer, Senior Editor, Time Magazine

Posted by wonko at August 31, 2003 08:06 PM

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