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September 27, 2003

Oz

So I decided not to go to the Palisades and talk with Doug. I still intend on doing it, but the timing didn't seem right. I've gotta get through some of the stuff thats on my place right now. Plus, it would have been a lot of pressure for Doug to hike all the way in for no other purpose other than to talk to him. I've gotta talk to Bruce about what he thinks I should do. Not all is clear.

Tomorrow, Bruce and I are going to do Oz (10d) in Tuolumne. Its a bit scary, and Bruce took a 50' whipper on it just last week. He's confident he knows what mistakes he made and won't repeat his grand fall this time. I wasn't with him last time.

Today, I met my LA friend Steve in Bishop to do some bouldering and catch up in general. He's struggling with what he should do career wise now that he's done gradgiated. I think I was able to impart my recent learning about myself to his benefit. First, I told him what I've learned recently about time, multitasking and balance. Basically, that I have a hard time focusing on multiple things simultaneously. I used to think this was a deficiency on my part that I had to work on. This may still be true, but I've decided to just work with it instead. So now I'll commit to just one task per day or week and solely focus on that. He agreed he had the same problem and thought that type of focus might help.

I asked him what all his options were. After going through them one at a time, he come to some conclusion on which one he felt strongest about following. I recommend he drop all the other lose commitments he had and focus on that one thing, at least until he figures out whether its gonna work or not. But most importantly, I reminded him of some important things.
First, even though he wanted to make and have more money, he shouldn't spend money in any way that raises his cost of living too much. Why? Because, secondly, he should remember that there are other options besides the corporate lifestyle one. If he gets large monthly bills or debt, he won't be able to change lifestyles even if he wanted to. At this point, he hasn't done either enough to know what he's really going to like. Keeping ones options open and accessible is key to finding happiness. That's my thought.
I think he took what I said to heart and I think he felt better afterwards. I also felt better afterwards. It struck me how strongly I felt about these issues. I had conviction in what I was saying. After all I've been through and been thinking, I feel a lot more confident in my philosophies on life. I DO feel like I'm on to something. Happiness may be attainable to most people and there may be a some rules or ideas that would aid anyone in their search for it. Then again, maybe I'm wrong. :)

Posted by wonko at September 27, 2003 11:49 PM

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Feelings are deceptive. They are based on ones current emotional status and physiological chemical balance. One moment one "FEELS" good the next they "FEEL" bad etc. Happiness is not a feeling rather a constant action and the result of attitude in that action. You either commit to the act of happiness and live as such, no matter what circumstances life has in store for you. It is a matter of attitude and choice. You make the choice to be happpy or you make the choice not to be happy. You and only you are the sole entity responsible for your happiness. No rules... it is black and white. You either are or you are not. It is up to you and no one else. All the ingredients necessary for ones happiness reside inside your heart... your soul... your inner being. You are born with them. People, places and things will always let you down and will never meet your expectations. If you commit to be happy, then do so without the basis of outside entities to motivate the flame. The flame is there and always has been. Simply be happy and you will.

Posted by: PDHMAN at September 28, 2003 10:46 PM

You may be using a different definition of "choice" than I am, but I think you'd find opposition to the idea that "You make the choice to be happpy or you make the choice not to be happy" from people who are depressed. It's nowhere near as simple as choosing to be happy (at least not always).

Posted by: kasei at September 29, 2003 12:07 AM

What are the prime movers of depression... exterior motives that one allows to control their destiny maybe? Life is life and acceptance of it, all of it, good and bad and remaining "Happy" still boils down to personal choice. Modern Western society seems to dictate what will make one "Happy", trends in fashion, looks, material accomplishments, TV, media etc., if in fact that individual chooses to allow it to. I believe from my experience in this journey we call Life that no matter how bad the cards are that we are dealt, we still are ultimately responsible for the attitude we wish to have in order to play them. No one is to blame for what is inside us but ourselves if we allow that thing to influence us. We are ultimately responsible for our attitude towards all aspects of life, no matter how good or bad they may be on the exterior. If one is content and secure in themself, then it simply doesn't matter how fierce the storm rages outside. Ask Abraham Lincoln about storms...
pdhman

Posted by: pdhman at September 29, 2003 06:34 AM

What are the prime movers of depression... exterior motives that one allows to control their destiny maybe? Life is life and acceptance of it, all of it, good and bad and remaining "Happy" still boils down to personal choice. Modern Western society seems to dictate what will make one "Happy", trends in fashion, looks, material accomplishments, TV, media etc., if in fact that individual chooses to allow it to. I believe from my experience in this journey we call Life that no matter how bad the cards are that we are dealt, we still are ultimately responsible for the attitude we wish to have in order to play them. No one is to blame for what is inside us but ourselves if we allow that thing to influence us. We are ultimately responsible for our attitude towards all aspects of life, no matter how good or bad they may be on the exterior. If one is content and secure in themself, then it simply doesn't matter how fierce the storm rages outside. Ask Abraham Lincoln about storms...
pdhman

Posted by: pdhman at September 29, 2003 06:34 AM

"What are the prime movers of depression?" Chemical imbalances. That's not something you can choose to make right.

Some people may be "depressed" by choice, but there are those that are clinically depressed that don't have this choice.

Posted by: kasei at September 29, 2003 09:16 AM

Throughout my life, I've waffled on the issue of happiness being a choice. That was my philosophy in high school, but its mostly changed. We choose our paths, but the path we choose does not always bring us happiness. Sometimes we choose a path KNOWING it will not bring happiness. Othertimes we choose a path thinking it will make us happy, but it doesn't. I'm finding that happiness, for most, is quite an ellusive thing. There was a time in my life I thought happiness wasn't a right and it was in fact too much for most people to even ask for it. Now I believe it is just a constant process of readjusting our lives towards the path that makes us happiess. Even still, few people I know would consider themselves really happy, and nobody I know is happy all the time.



On the other side, there is a lesson to be learned from the choose happiness camp. It speaks to the fact that most of us are not victims and DO make our own decisions. If we are unhappy, we can make the choice to change things. If we do not make that choice, than we shouldn't sulk about it. There are exceptions to this rule though. Sometimes married people stay together, despite the failure of the marriage, solely for their kids. This speaks towards sacrificing ones own happiness for another, but this too is still a choice.

Posted by: Wonko at September 29, 2003 09:34 AM

For those that are not "Clinically" depressed it all boils down to choice. The couple CHOSE to stay together rather than go seperate ways. One chooses to react to a situation in a given fashion. I personally have come to a point in my life to conscientiously make a decision to be happy first thing as I open my eyes. Up until 2 1/2 years ago, I experienced so much suffering and negativeness to last ten lifetimes and I was only 42. Death, suffering, destruction, poverty of the likes no one here in this country could ever imagine. We live in a society that is "SPOILED" to the extreme that those in real poverished nations could never fathom. For most third world societies (which POPULATION wise far outweighs "RICH" societies as ours) they haven't time to enjoy the luxary of "HAPPINESS". They are too busy simply giving their all to simply survive the day... food, water, shelter etc. I have experienced the poorest of the poorest and one thing I found overwhelmingly fascinating about those people is their ability to be grateful for what they have and to simply be alive! Maybe what this society needs is a simple dose of true materialistic poverty and return to the idea of gratefulness for being privalaged to simply walk this planet and enjoy the gifts it has to offer for one more day.

Posted by: pdhman at September 29, 2003 09:57 AM

I agree with pdman on a number of his suggestions. I agree that happiness is a choice and I believe it resides in us whether we are "Clinically" depressed or not. I don't know if I truly believe in the psycho-babble of "Clinical" depression anyway. Yes scientist\doctors have discovered chemical imbalances in people that affect the brains chemistry and the way it reacts to emotion. Though I believe we have the power within us to go beyond that. I believe it's the choice to just BE....to BE happy. What I believe happens is people get labeled by doctors to be clinically depressed and it's that which becomes a crutch, an excuse that prevents them for accepting responsibility to make that choice. My brother for one had been diagnosed with Clinic Depression years ago. Though it's clear in his actions that he himself fuels his own depression. The choices he makes in his daily life affect his behavior. He continually puts himself in positions of unhappiness and helplessness. It's the choice to wake up in the morning and to be happy or not be happy which dictates the success of either. In my opinion, the people that are labeled to have chemical problems (albeit they might) and Clinical Depression, have just sunk so low they don't know HOW to get out. It's not that they can't get out; it's that they don't know how or will not. Their depression is the only constant in their life. I'm sure there are a lot of people out there that have chemical imbalances which are happy. They've deiced to do it and that's the way it's going to be for them. It's within all of us and we have to make that choice. Serious chemical imbalances and clinical depression run heavily in my family. Every generation in my family has suffered. After recognizing that these patterns exist, I've decided to change it. Yes I get down, but I just tell my self that it's up to me to whether or not I'm going to be HAPPY. I move on from there. "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and dog gone it people like me" (at least I hope so)

Posted by: Obigabu at September 30, 2003 06:52 PM

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