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September 11, 2004
Dublin... still.
I was hoping I would be writing this from another country, but fate has a way of showing us who is really in control. Everything has been a whirlwind of occurrences and a rollercoaster of emotions. Still, I'm in Dublin. Not for lack of trying either. On a crazy whim I followed my German friend as he went to the airport at 4am to get a flight out and tried to get a flight myself, but to no avail, so with still no sleep I headed back and had to struggle to get a room at the hostel.
Hours later, I had a plane ticket to Rotterdam which I'll be using on Monday. Another traveller was going there and said I should follow, so that’s what I'll do because one place is as good as any other at this point.
So far, this trip has rearranged my cerebellum on a moment-by-moment basis. It has been more a process of tearing down than building up... both in the good and bad moments. I see this as constructive nonetheless. It is hard to start building fresh over an old structure's rubble. This process of deconstructive construction is no less disruptive or disconcerting than construction itself... probably more so. Still, I am seeing the solid walls that were there as well as the weak ones. The solid ones are often in the wrong place, but can be salvaged just as well.
Experience overload. It’s like learning through osmosis. I am not even sure what I'm going to get from all of this, nor am I pressuring myself to define it as such. I know that my time is being well spent, given the alternatives. I know I am moving forward, or backward (which can be forward if forward is the wrong direction) rapidly with things happening so fast I don't have time to judge them or prevent them from changing me... for the better.
Posted by wonko at September 11, 2004 10:37 AM
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