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February 15, 2003
Honesty and Social Expectation
The more I've written in my blog, the more I realize how often I censor myself due to my knowledge of who might read it. This censorship has caused me some grief, however, for a couple of reasons. First of all, I feel guilty for not being completely open because I've always felt I was the type of person that has nothing to hide. The harder something is to share, the more one gains from sharing it though. I often leave out details or don't even begin to talk about things for fear of hurting people who might read this. Hurting might not even be the right word.It just goes to show the difference between image and reality. But why do we all have this difference between image and us. I think, though I'm not sure, that most everyone has a public face which is different (be it slightly) than their private face. I know others who are able to write much more candidly in their blogs. Is it because they don't care what others think of them, or that the rewards are too great to care. Or is it because the people who they wouldn't want to explain their candidness to do not read their blog. I'd like to be as honest and open as I can... But I don't want to hurt others or hurt others opinions of me.
Posted by wonko at February 15, 2003 07:42 PM
Comments
What about being true to yourself? Wherever you go, there you are.
Posted by: lolly at February 18, 2003 12:02 PM
What is your motivation for telling the truth? Is the truth connected to growth on your part or someone elses? I think there is a balance between being true to yourself (living in truth) and the normal filtering we do to prevent hurting others.
Posted by: lolly at February 18, 2003 12:20 PM
I agree to an extent. The truth is always the truth. However, there are social realities in the life we live. You don't tell your boss what you really think of him/her. We all have a social front, especially in the places we work, but most other places as well. We have an understanding of what is expected of us and we don't like to deviate from that. Not that you can't be totally yourself to some, but mostly there are ways in which you (I) act different around different people. A friend of mine just told me about this one girl's blog where she got fired and her parents stopped talking to her, all because of her blog. Not that I'm worried about that, but people are always guarded, even in their blogs.
Posted by: Wonko at February 18, 2003 09:33 PM
That's what I meant by the normal filtering we do as a part of life. It certainly isn't worth one's job (especially in this work climate)to rag on your boss as that woman you mentioned did.How far do you think honesty should go in politics at work to promote yourself? In our country regarding terrorism?
Posted by: lolly at February 19, 2003 09:26 AM
That's what I meant by the normal filtering we do as a part of life. It certainly isn't worth one's job (especially in this work climate)to rag on your boss as that woman you mentioned did.How far do you think honesty should go in politics at work to promote yourself? In our country regarding terrorism?
Posted by: lolly at February 19, 2003 09:26 AM
In my opinion, this part of your website is a place where you are sharing your own personal thoughts with complete strangers. Your sharing your aspirations with other people and we should be honored that you feel comfortable enough to do that. I'm sure your not the type of person that would intentionally offend someone you care about intentionally, but if you do its your deal. This page is a chance for you to be who you are, and I commend you for that.
Posted by: sarah at March 8, 2003 08:13 AM
Truth....
I believe truth can be used to hurt others purposefully...which i contend is "wrong" while my friend contend truth be told. "There is no harm in truth..Everything I've ever read or been taught all concludes to: always tell the truth.
What do you think??
Posted by: mello smooth at August 1, 2003 01:36 PM
Thats a tough one. It reminds me of a question posed by a 20th century philosopher who believed in moral absolutes. As I remember it. You are standing in an alley when a man comes screaming into the alley yelling, "He's going to kill me!". He then dissappears in through a doorway. Moments later, a man with an axe appears and asks, "Did you see a man come this way? Where did he go?"
You obviously don't know the situation, but you DO know if you tell the truth, the first man will die. If you lie, he may live. This particular philosopher believed you should ALWAYS tell the truth no matter the consequences. In his view, things will sort themselves out as they should. So in that case, you tell the truth, the man dies, but you can rest assured your soul is safe in the knowledge you did the right thing.
I do not believe this. I've spent a lot of time thinking about moral absolutes (I'll have to post my treatise on the subject). I believe in morals, and even moral absolutes. I do not believe however that any one man can claim to know what those are. So it is up to us to decide.
But I haven't answeres your question. I think the answer is circumstantial. Sometimes it would be wrong and sometimes right. That is NOT to say I believe in humanism, that everything you think is right is right for you. I just do not believe you can make a hard and fast rule that telling the truth to hurt someone is wrong. I really have to post my thesis.
Posted by: Wonko at August 1, 2003 02:03 PM
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